Are We Headed For Dudsville? Ask Chevrolet! [Chevrolet Centennial, 1970s Edition]

Chevrolet is marking its 100th anniversary this week. To celebrate, we’re republishing two posts per day from our blog archives, each one plucked from a different decade of the marque’s long existence.

Man, this switch from gross to net horsepower has really thrown a wet blanket on everybody’s scene. The power’s the same, but not the same? My 365-hp Chevelle only makes 285 now? Jive, man! Jive! And the loss of our high-compression engines? We’re beginning to understand why the Panthers went to Sacramento with guns!

With the harsh realities dealt by the hand of law firmly in place, the House of Louis thinks that going more “European” is the wave of the future — dig that Vega they launched earlier this year. Aluminum block and head, sharp styling. If they can keep that little mill together — we’ve heard some worrying reports about head-gasket failures — the little Chevy really is a sweet little machine in keeping with the times, given the insurance-price Altamont we’ve suffered through these last few years.

We hear the company’s working on a new Monte Carlo that’ll debut in about a year. They’ve apparently figured out a way to work in those hodad-crazy new 5-mph-impact bumpers into the design, and from what we’ve been able to glean from designers over Neapolitan veal and a few bottles of Paul Masson’s finest, the cats are planning to work in an opera window. From square to swinger in a single purchase!

The mainline Chevelles hitting dealerships next fall will also get more of a European look. We hear — straight from Johnny Z. no less — that the new machines will be bigger, lighter and the best handlers of any midsize Chevy to date. Keep your eyes peeled for a rakish coupe version that’s sure to be a hit at Talladega.

During the aforementioned dinner with Bill Mitchell’s boys, the guys mentioned that the new trucks will not be affecting a Continental habit, but will appear even blockier than the current models. They do promise, however, some serious flair in the color choice department. We predict that with the more stringent emissions regulations coming into effect for automobiles over the next five years, the truck and van segment is primed to explode. Expect a heap of wild custom creations as the rodders ply their way-out trades in new areas. Opera window on a Chevy Van — will it stand as the height of working-class opulence in this new decade? Or is there something more? Surely, creative thinkers can outdo Yates’s “Moon Trash II” transcontinental Dodge Custom Sportsman van.

By the way, if you’re into that noise, the fourth Led Zeppelin long-player drops next week. One of our friends at Creem spun us a promo copy. We’re betting we’ll find it jammed in El Camino and Camaro 8-track players for years to come.

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